A hyper story about Cloud and some hair gell!
by Torn Angel
Summary: The name says it all! (Warning: Tifa Bashing!)


Disclaimer: I do not own Cloud Strife,Vincent Valentine, Red 13, Cid Highwind or Tifa Lockhart. Thay belong to Squaresoft.  
  
I do not own Furbys (well, I own A Furby but...) Thay belong to Tiger Electronics  
  
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Cid: And we'll be right back to "Cid and Vincents Kitchen" after a word from our sponsers! So stay where you f*****g well are!  
  
Vincent: Do I have to be hear? I havent comited any sins lately!  
  
Cid: Yes! Shut up!! Your only on to attract Vincent fangirls and boost the ratings!   
  
Vincent: Cid, the camara is still on.  
  
Cid: F***K!! Turn that dammn thing off Red!!!  
  
Red 13: I cant! I have no thumbs!!  
  
Vincent: (shoots camara)  
  
(screen goes fuzzy)  
  
Red 13:(in the distance) MY CAMARA!!!!  
  
*************************************  
  
(Cloud comes on in a white suit)  
  
Cloud: Hello, Im Cloud Strife.  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud:(Smiles) Thank you. I am here today to tell you about Shinra Corp.'s new product: Cloud Strife Brand Hair Gell!   
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: Thank you. Cloud Strife Bran...  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: Um, thanks. Any way Cloud Strife...  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: Cloud...  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cid: (enters stage) Oh will all of you shut the f***k up!!!  
  
Cid Fan Girl: Yay (gets killed by Cloud fan girls)  
  
Cloud: Im now gonna show you the many uses of...  
  
Cid: Don't say it!  
  
Cloud:....Cloud Strife...  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cid: Ohhhh! My ears!!! (runs off)  
  
Cloud... Brand Hair Gell. Use one: Water Bomb filling!  
  
(Tifa is brought on stage by furbys with large axes)  
  
Cloud: Guys!  
  
(Cid, Vincent and Red come on stage, holding water bombs)  
  
Tifa: Don't Cloud....  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: ...I love you!!  
  
Cloud: Eat Gell Tifa!! (Throws water, er, gell bomb at Tifa)  
  
Tifa: How could you be so mean!!  
  
Cid: (Prepares to throw)  
  
Tifa: Cid! If you don't do it I'll go out with you!!  
  
Cid I thought You said you loved Cloud...  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Tifa: I, um, I lied! I love you!!  
  
Cid: Tifa, your a f******g slut!!! And your boobs are fake!! (Lobs gell bomb, it hits one of her boobs and both the bomb and the boob explode)  
  
Tifa: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Vincent: (Looks at water bomb) This is abusive, you know that Cloud?  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: Just throw it or I'll get the Mary-Sues to take you away again!!  
  
Vincent: Okay!!!! (throws the bomb, halfheartedly, being the gentelman that he is, and it bounces off her shoe)  
  
Cloud: (whistles) Bring in the Mary-Sues!  
  
(Cage of Mary-Sues is brought on stage)  
  
Mary-Sue#36: Look! It's Cloudychan!!!!  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud: No, not me! Him! (Points at Vincent)  
  
Vincent: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (More Furbys with axes force vincent into cage with Mary-Sues) Let me out! This is imoral, rong, satanic! My fangirls will get you for this!!"  
  
Vicent Fan Girls: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT VINNYCHAN!!!  
  
Cloud+Cid: Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!  
  
Mary-Sue#5: It's Vinnychan! Hi Vinnychan! (all the Mary-Sues glomp Vincent)  
  
Vincent: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! GET OFF ME!! I AM NOT A PEOPLE PERSON!!!! (The cage gets taken off stage)  
  
Cloud: Annnnyway, Red, go.  
  
Red: (muffled because of the gell bomb in his mouth) Okaf Clouf!  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH-Huh?  
  
(Before Red can throw the bomb, it explodes in his mouth)  
  
Red: *Chough, chough* whats in this?  
  
Cloud: Um, uh, just Jenova, um, excreatment.  
  
Cid: Jenova's Shit?!?!?! I gotta wash my hands!!!  
  
Red: X_X   
  
Tifa: You kiled Red!  
  
Cloud: I will kill you!!! (Pours gell down a funnel into Tifa's mouth) (Tifa explodes and the gore hits the Cloud fan girls)  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!  
  
Cloud: Um, I just killed half the cast, so uh, back to the show!  
  
(Vincent runs on stage, his clothes very riped)  
  
Vincent Fan Girls: O_O  
  
Vincent: How....could you *gasp* Cloud?  
  
Cloud: I am not Cloud!   
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud??: No realy! Im not Cloud.  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Cloud(maby): Stop screeming! Im not Cloud Im..  
  
Cloud Fan Girls: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vincent: (shoots Cloud(maby)) (shrugs and walkes off stage)  
  
Tifa's Head: X_x  
  
Cloud Fan Girl#98786: Cloud is dead, lets become Vincent fangirls!!  
  
Cloud Fan Girls(now Vincent fan girls) YAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY!!!  
  
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End  
  
Bad, wasn't it? I am SSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Hyper at the mo!!!! Thats why this sucks! 


End file.
